Thoughts on International Women’s Day – Especially about Women Supporting Women

Toni Buckley Dockter – Founder; Publisher; Editor-in-Chief; Distribution Manager; Intrepid Reporter; IT Guy; Coffee Girl

email: fwepub@aol.com

MOTTO: When telling the truth is a revolutionary act. 

All editorial    All social commentary    All for the common good

Issue Number 28  –  March 2020

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This post is dedicated to the female members of the Shakespeare Oxford Fellowship — or as I affectionately call it — Scholarly Oligarchy Foundation. And on other days: Soggy Old Farts. Or on the days when I think about how his group absconded with my $1000 under false pretenses: Sinister Odious Federation.

In honor of International Women’s Day, here are recent positive happenings showing that SOF (Sometimes Offensive Folks) is on the wrong side of our cultural shift toward acknowledging that all women’s lives matter:

Harvey Weinstein, Hollywood’s biggest monster, is headed to prison.

MSNBC talk show host Chris Matthews loses his job in part due to derogatory comments about women.

In response to a thrashing from Elizabeth Warren in a presidential debate, Michael Bloomberg does a 180 and releases three women from their NDAs (non-disclosure agreements) at his company.

Woody Allen gets the boot from Hachette who now refuses to publish his memoir.

Amazon.com has a banner today that says “Women in Charge. People magazine’s latest issue is about “Women Changing the World.”  The New York Times is encouraging women to write more letters to the editor, like the February 16, 2020 issue: “Women, Please Speak Out” and another letter titled “Men, You Need to Listen.” The Atlantic article about anti-feminist rhetoric being a “powerful gateway to violent white nationalism.”

The mass exodus of the entire board of directors of the César Academy (France’s version of the Oscars) to protest Roman Polanski receiving 12 nominations for his latest film.

In addition, Brad Pitt refused to accept an honorary award from this group. He did not want to be affiliated with an organization that esteems a yucky person.

You cannot say this about the Shakespeare Oxford Fellowship. It rewards a man (James Warren) who wrote an icky book with demeaning attitudes about women called Summer Storm, under the guise that the narrative advances the Shakespeare authorship question.

Previously I had sent an email to the SOF PTB (Powers That Be) about my disgust with this book (and also complaining about the theft of my $1000). It was ignored.

Later I revised/clarified/shortened (thank heavens) the email and turned it into an essay called “How to Step Out of Line – For the Greater Good”  and posted it on-line. I tweeted the PTB about my re-write and blog post. Doubt any of you were informed about this.

You can read it here: www.fuchsiawoman.com/blog — entry dated 1/31/2020. (Paste the link in your browser.)

I state plenty of reasons this book sucks–including its misogynistic viewpoint about women and objectifying them in a pervy way. But the book also does not accomplish its goal as a tool in the Oxfordian arsenal. The main character, Prof. Alan Fernwood, is a liar, cheater, adulterer, blackmailer, and self-centered I’m-so-damn-smart blowhard. He has zero integrity. Why would any reader buy into what he is selling? I was personally was grossed out by him.

I read parts of Warren’s book to my girlfriends. Some of them squealed in laughter because it was just so frapping awful. Others begged me to quit reading. A few asked me how could I even finish the book? I said I wanted to find out if the loathsome professor ever redeemed himself. (Spoiler alert: he did not.)

I think the Warren book hurts the Oxfordian cause. But SOF thinks otherwise, and instead chooses to trot out Warren at the Looney Book 100th Anniversary Event like he is a valued spokesperson. (I felt sorry for Cheryl having to stand next to him in the group photo. Hope she was wearing her cootie-proof body suit!)

There is a bigger picture here that SOF refuses to see. (SOF: Sad Obstinate Fellows?)

What is more important in the overall scheme of things in the Universe: the authorship question or the disrespect for an entire gender? The authorship question one way or the other does not contribute to the downfall of society. Disrespecting women does.

So back to the women members of SOF. I’ve met many of them. Once upon a time some were even friends I socialized with. From my experience, I don’t think any of them are feminists. I have found that if you dare to criticize the old-thinking guys running the show (where members don’t get to vote on anything including the election of the Board of Directors who make the decisions about how to spend membership money), it will be met with hostility.

I thought about this collective female mindset this morning after listening to a TED Talks episode about a woman who buys vintage clothing (as a pro-environment statement). I collect vintage clothes–primarily hats; coats; and “wiggle dresses” from the 1940s/50s–not because I want to protect the environment from the harm mass production of crappy clothes generates (although that would be a good reason). But because I think they’re elegant and cool.

I rarely wear the many hats I own.

Or any of my other vintage items. I thought–heck, maybe I should! I dug through my closet and found this beauty–a royal purple velvet opera coat with a Bakelite rhinestone one-button closure.

Possible hat to wear with the coat? (For fashionistas: it’s a felt and satin creation by Elsa Schiaparelli, circa 1953.)

Am I going to the opera? No. But I will be going to Shop-n-Kart. As soon as my Coronavirus stockpiles of nutty protein bars and chocolate paleo cookies run out. I recommend these. Yummy.

As Tan France, fashion expert from Queer Eye, advises women: You don’t need a special reason to wear your special clothes.

Now where was I? Oh yes, why the coat made me think of SOF women members–whose natural default mode I perceive is to acquiesce to men–even if it’s detrimental–like the Warren book–which perpetuates destructive attitudes about women.

This label is sewn in the lining of the purple coat:

“Look your loveliest for him.”?? Ai-Yi-Yi. The label represents an outdated concept for me–but not for lots of women.

The message in the label reminds me of one of the worst songs in recorded music: “Wives and Lovers” by Jack Jones.

Hey, little girl

Comb your hair, fix your make-up

Soon he will open the door

Don’t think because there’s a ring on your finger

You needn’t try any more.

For wives should always be lovers, too

Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you

I’m warning you.

Day after day

There are girls in the office

And men will always be men

Don’t send him off

With your hair still in curlers

You may not see him again.

Hey, little girl

Better wear something pretty

Something you’d wear to go to the city

And dim all the lights

Pour the wine, start the music

Time to get ready for love…

First of all, that’s not love. That’s servitude. That’s oppression. That’s sexism. That’s devaluing a women’s existence. Enough to make you gag.

Jack Jones should have returned the Grammy he won (1964) for singing that drivel. Composer Burt Bacharach and lyricist Hal David (in the grave) should be shunned from polite society.

And if Prof. Alan Fernwood had a chance to weigh in on this song, he would add a stanza:

Hey, little girl

Better read the 8,000 books in my library

Or we’re headed to divorce court

Because housework isn’t sexy

And a “life of the mind” is what I expect from you.

So what are the women members of SOF to do? Don’t accept that the natural order of things is for men to always be at the top of the totem pole. You can do something about it. Like ignore Warren and his book. Ignore Bonner Miller Cutting’s rave review. Not helpful to internalize these kinds of messages.

You can expand your horizons by reading. Not necessarily Shakespeare authorship writings. If you’re already convinced about the Earl of Oxford theory, how many more books about this subject do you need to read? (Afterall, we ain’t getting any younger!)

Here are some suggestions:

The most amazing books are about the really ugly struggle women underwent in the Suffragette Movement. These women were brutalized. They sacrificed their marriages; custody of their children; financial stability; social standing. Some were accused of mental instability (hysteria). They were imprisoned and tortured. Hunger-strikers were painfully force fed, which caused life-long health problems.

These courageous women went through hell so we women can have the right to vote. Their stories have been largely ignored–by the educational system and our culture in general.

The 19th Amendment was finally passed in August 1920–a 100th anniversary infinitely more important than Looney’s book. Anyone at SOF ask you to vote on anything?

If you have an interest in one of these books, let me know. I will mail it to you to keep. You can ask around the Ashland SOF contingency about my generosity of giving away books. (But first you’ll have to ward off the invective hurled my way because I objected to SOF’s boneheaded operations and antiquated thinking!)

I also highly recommend this book, Too Much: How Victorian Constraints Still Bind Women Today, by Rachel Corona Cote), published two weeks ago. It’s terrific.

The author says that women are denigrated by “white masculine heteronormative ideology” (there’s a mouthful) for being “too much” — too emotional; too exuberant; too loud; too talkative; too volatile; too full of desire; too compassionate, too whatever.

The only way to go through life is being YOU. Period. Meet FuchsiaWoman, the logo for my sideline company, FuchsiaWoman Enterprises. Here’s her excellent advice:

Pretty sure you weren’t born to be a shrinking violet. Making yourself small so others can appear large will not serve you. Neither will silence.

It is possible for women not to attain the male attention she wants (or validation from a male-dominated society) and still have a wonderful life. It’s all about a woman’s mindset.

In a Wellesley College graduation speech (1990) Barbara Bush spoke of the importance of human investments (friends) and her ‘end of life’ comment that you won’t wish you had spent m0re time in the office.

Paraphrasing Babs, I don’t think you’ll wish you spent more time listening to another lecture from Oxfordians. Or helping men to shine instead of yourself. How about if SOF stands for “Shine On, Females”?

Women today are marginalized right and left. As we age, women’s real friends will be women–not men. And certainly not acquaintances from an organization like SOF where it seems to me that self-serving actions/motivations abound. Hanging out in a good-ol-boys club environment does nothing for female empowerment. Or even asking for your opinion.

For more on that subject here’s another blog post: What’s So Funny About Peace, Love & Understanding Feminism. You can read it here: www.fuchsiawoman.com/blog — entry dated 2/11/2020. (Paste the link in your browser.)

Women need to spend more time supporting each other. It can be life changing and life affirming. And definitely more fun!

Give yourself permission to be the person you are supposed to be–and not someone society wants you to be. That’s a good thing. That’s feminism. Recognize women’s and girls’ needs are just as important as men’s and boys’. That’s a good thing, too. That’s equality.

That’s what International Women’s Day is about.

 

Have a good one. Have a good life.

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P.S. There are exactly 1920 words in this post.